REMEMBRANCE 17 : ACADEMIC TABOO

Today (22.05.2009) we intend to go back to my birth place at Kampung Hutan Setali, Tunjang to bade farewell to Shahir, one of Lid’s grand sons who would be entering into a new world of tertiary education at UITM Penang. Norain’s fourth son would be pursuing a diploma course in Mechanical Engineering. He is fact following the foot steps of his uncle in law, Syed Jaafar Idid .

Shahir is one of the three grand sons of Lid who has taken 2008 SPM examination. He is one of Norain’s bright sons who has finished his secondary schooling at Beseri MSRM, Perlis. He is also a Collegian like me and was also a boarder during his lower secondary education days. He shares one of my medical predicaments i.e . asthmatic. With his positive attitude towards life and taking things as it comes, Shahir has managed to control his asthmatic problems with proper medication care that permits him to be involved in rigorous physical activities such as playing rugby and football.

There are two more of Lid’s grand sons who has taken 2008 SPM Examinations. There are Sollehin, Norlia’s son and Ashraf, Norliza’s son. I do not know in details about these two SPM academic performances and their proposed plans in furthering their studies. Although I am their eldest brother and by courtesy should be informed about their academic performance but I do not have any grudge about this. It is my personal choice not to initiate enquiries about my nephews and nieces academic performances until and unless my sisters inform me without my asking.

My stand on this matter is very simple because I do not wish to antagonize them that may turn into sour grapes. It is their sole prerogative to disclose or not to disclose the facts of their children individual cases. It is natural for them not to disclose any matter that they wanted to hide or to disclose any matter that they are proud to show off. It is in fact rather unfortunate for me as I do not have their full confidence in my capacity as their oldest and only brother.

Enquiring academic performances of some of my nephews and nieces are a taboo for me. If I put the wrong foot down, I might be overstepping on somebody else toes and thus causing uneasiness. I understand that these negative attitudes of my sisters were attributed to one my cousins who likes to dig around on the academic performances of Lid’s grand children.

He would belittle them if their academic performances were not up to the mark as compared to his supposed brilliant academic performances of his nephews and nieces. If ever my nephews were to achieve high grade, then he would boast that their achievements were due to his effective motivational advice. As a result of this flabbier gusted behaviour, indirectly it has given birth to the emergence of a with drawn syndrome among my sisters and also my other cousins who has suffered the same treatments from my supposed learned cousin. It is rather unfortunate for me as my sisters tend to lump me together in the same category as my cousin. To me, I treat all my nephews and nieces equals regardless of their academic achievements as they are all the descendants of Lid and Mak. It is my holistic duty to look and care for them in accruance with Mak and Lid should have treated them.

In my opinion, it is a fact that my counseling talents has gone to waste for my nephews and nieces as my limited counseling capabilities are sought after by my friends and subordinates as well as Zam’s nephews and nieces. I am not a highly learned person holistically nor do I have above average children to boast about. However I am very happy and contended that I have three wonderful children who do not cause any anxiety in my retiring days but on the other hand they have provided Zam and me with a blissful life.

Anyway, I am very confident that I have a lot experiences in giving fatherly professional advice on average academic performance of students. I do not experience in advising above average students as I do not have above everage IQ children on my own. I have three average children who has modestly successfully obtained their tertiary diplomas and degrees with their average Allah’s given minds. I am sure that my affirmative intrusive actions at the correct times has helped my two boys to conclude their tertiary education.

For the sake of my children, I would stoop very low to venture into new approaches that would assist my children in their pursuit of academic achievement and also into the real life. I have even personally met the Arau UITM Provost seeking his guidance about the poor performance of my elder son. I have also met the Sarawak UITM Director seeking his professional advice on my sons academic pursuit in Sarawak. Their professional sincere advice has assisted me tremendously in charting a new preemptive measures for my son’s academic performance. I followed their advice to the finest details and my son has managed to scrap through his academic hurdles.

For my youngest son, he has chosen one of the toughest academic course i.e accounting. With an average academic capabilities, it was a very tough ride for him to sail through the 3 years diploma course. At his lowest ebb, he was even contemplating of abandoning his studies half way. With the helps of Zubir, my elder son’s friend, I managed to draw up a new approach in planning his study programs which emphasized heavily on the SWOT analogy. With his obedience to our new reprogrammed academic strategy and with Allah’s blessings, he managed to graduate with a diploma in accountancy. He is even pursuing his distance learning accounting degree with the Malaysia Open University.

During his semester break, I used to drive my son daily in the early morning to UITM Merbok which has enabled him to take his financial accounting short course. I would spend half a day daily wandering around Tupah assisting bird enthusiasts hunting for birds while waiting for my son attending lectures. Otherwise I would be sleeping at the UITM surau with the other odd job workers who were playing truants. My efforts bore fruits when my son got through his short course in which he was the only boy attending the short course apart from all the other girls students.

I did not have any problem with my eldest daughter as she has matured at an early age and she was capable of organizing her academic endeavours by herself. My main contribution was to bank in money into her account while she was pursuing her degree course at USM. I had only a minor scare during her secondary school days when I was called in by her form teacher when her school grade dipped after the demise of my mother in law. I was chided by her teacher when she found out that I only sent my daughter to tuition classes without even knowing what subjects she was attending. She was surprise at my lack luster attitude and that episode was in fact a awareness jab to my egoistic attitude who tend to spend more time on my career rather than spending more precious time with my children.

As parents, we should make it a practice to look through our children academic performances even he or she is pursuing their tertiary education. Parents should not posses inferior complex attitudes. towards their children regardless of their children academic status. However every parent should equip themselves with the knowledge of knowing how to analyse their children score card although the parents are not graduate themselves. It is the duty of the children to enlighten their parents about their academic performances and seeking parental advice from their parent.

Correct parential advice has the soothing effects on their children when their children are in desire need for it. If need arises, the parents could enlist the helps of other learned friends or relatives. From my observations, I felt pity that some of our nephews and nieces has to abandoned ship half way as there was an absence of intrusive actions that should be taken to pull them out when they were down at the deepest pit of academic wilderness.

For me, it was rather unfortunate that we are actively comparing notes on the academic achievement of our daughters and sons even at the secondary levels of education. With the SPM qualification, it was only the first step or the beginning of their journey in real life. We should sincerely look into their charted lives after their academic endeavours. We should appreciate and be thankful to Allah for giving us children that has their own personal attributes in themselves. Allah has given every child their own capabilities and we should encourage the use of these inherent attributes to the optimum level holistically. Insya Allah.

A super average academic child does not guarantee her or she a good life after their education accomplishments nor it guarantees a bad life for a below average academic accomplishment child. It is a fact that correct parental guidance together with Allah’s blessings are the main factors that determine the future of the child. If the parents has sown a perfect seeds, then it would produce a good bountiful padi or otherwise we would get only course grass instead.

Lastly, I strongly believe that a child below the age of twenty should not go into the working adult world. There are various educational institutions that are provided freely by the government that could accommodate any level of academic qualification. Without any other constraints, parents should not let their children loose into the working world as then it would be very difficult for any parent to persuade his child to enter into any educational activities once his child has drawn his own keeps.