Two mothers were comparing child rearing notes
Mother 1 : "I just can't seem to get my children's attention. They stay mesmerised in front of the TV set. I say things to them and call for them, and they are oblivious to every word."
Mother 2 : "Try sitting in an easy chair and looking like you're relaxed. That gets my children's attention without fail."
2. BALD HEADED
A certain time of life, a man's hair begins to grow inward. If it strikes gray matter, it turns gray. If it doesn't strike anything, it disappears.
3. FOR A BALD FATHERA little boy took the chair at a barber shop.
Barber: "How would you like your hair cut today, son."
Boy: "Oh, do it like you do to daddy's, with the big hole in the middle."
4. FOR BIMO AND AZIRA - Be calm and do not be jittery when the D day comes.
Scene One
A young man brought his wife to the O&G Doctor in an emergency. The nurses escorted the woman to the examination area, and the husband anxiously took a seat at the lobby.
For the next few minutes, he could hear the doctor bark an unsettling string of orders.to the staff. First it was "Knife!". Then "Screwdrivers!" Then "Pliers!".
When he heard "Sledgehammer!" the young man could bear the tension no longer. He burst into the examination room and shrieked,"Doctor, what is wrong with my wife?"
"We have no idea," the doctor said. "Right now, we are still trying to open the medicine cabinet."
Scene 2
A doctor's receptionist answered the phone and was screamed at by the exited man at the other end of the line.
"My wife is in labour!" he yelled. "I think she is going to deliver any minute now."
"Please calm down," the receptionist said. "Try to relax and give me some basic information. Is this her first child?"
"No, No! I am her husband!".
5. FOR INCOMING LAWYER
A
Judge: "You're accused of stealing a typewriter. How do you plead."
Defendant:"I'm innocent, Your Honour. The whole thing was a mistake."
Judge:"How so?"
Defendant:"I thought it was the cash register."
B
Defence lawyer: "The procsecutor says she can produce five witnesses who saw you running from the bank with the money bags."
Suspect: "That's nothing. I can produce 500 witnesses who didn't see me running from the bank."
6. FOR NORAINI
A
Patient: "Doctor, I'm suffering from a pain in my right leg."
Doctor: "There is no cure. It's just aging."
Patient: "You must be mistaken, Doctor. The left is as old as the right and it doesn't hurt at all."
B
Doctor: "Your cough is a little better today."
Patient: "It ought to be. I've been practising all night."
7. FOR ALUN
To get his wealth,
He spent his health.
After getting his wealth,
He spent his wealth,
To get back his health.
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